Most managers go into the role hoping to help people do their jobs better and are quickly disappointed when people aren't taking their advice.

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Despite what we may want to believe, the giver of feedback has little or no power and when they give unsolicited feedback it has the opposite of its intended effect. 

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Years of survey research shows that the receiver of feedback has all the power about what to do with the feedback – take it to heart or ignore it.

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The simple act of seeking consent – "Can I offer some feedback?" "Are you in a place to hear some feedback?" "Is this a good time?" – changes the odds that your feedback will be acted upon.

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So keep your "crap sandwiches" – complement, criticism, encouragement – to yourself.

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The role of feedback changes in a healthy organization. Instead of the manager doling out feedback, it becomes the employee's job to seek out feedback.

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Why is that shift so important?

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When employees feel safe enough to consistently seek feedback, the company expends less effort on being validated and more effort on being successful.

 

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